An interview with breast cancer blogger Nicole Kultau - Nicole Kultau is a blogger. She writes about her cancer. In May 2010, at the age of 41, she was diagnosed with breast cancer. In a conversation with us, she explained why she wanted to share her story with others and what helped her during therapy.
What was going through your mind when you received the diagnosis?
It was a huge shock. My world collapsed, so to speak. At the time of the diagnosis and for a long time afterwards, I didn't understand what the disease actually meant and how complex it was.
I had a lot of questions and was scared. My doctors told me not to worry, that I would get better. But that didn't take away my worries, I needed answers.
Instead, I was presented with a fait accompli. I was to undergo chemotherapy and breast-conserving surgery. The doctors then planned radiotherapy.
During the course of my treatment, I eventually changed my team of doctors and looked for doctors who would involve me more and answer my questions.
How did your social environment treat you after the diagnosis, or how did you treat them?
I had to learn that everyone needs their own time to process this news. And I had to accept that everyone does this in their own way. However, I broke off contact with some friends because they were not good for me.
I even wrote a blog post for relatives about how best to deal with a cancer patient and what we, the affected people, want from them. It is very important that we are not excluded. We want real support, more than just a text message or a quick phone call.
Be it accompanying them to the doctor's appointment, helping around the house or just listening. Cancer patients want to continue to be treated like normal people.
What was good for you during the treatment? What made your life easier and gave you strength?
My son Justin was particularly motivating. He was born with severe multiple disabilities and needed me despite my illness. Two very dear friends also helped me, cried with me and, when the tears had dried, talked to me for hours.
Being able to voice my fear and talk openly about it was really helpful. Every visit from friends, even if it was only for a short time, gave me an incredible amount of strength.
Doing things together was also good for me. When I was feeling good, I did nice things with Justin. I also treated myself to things that I would otherwise have said no to. That also helped me to feel better.
What influence does and does blogging have?
I processed a lot in writing. Writing helped me to put the unspeakable into a certain form and to simply not hide. It turned out to be a therapeutic tool for me, which I can now even use to do good. That is a really great gift for me.
My blog posts also helped my friends understand how I was feeling and helped them deal with me.
At first I only wrote on my private profile on a social network. After all, that was the initiator for my current blog. Originally I just wanted to share my story with other affected women. But I also did research and wanted to share my knowledge and the information I had already gathered with them. Then I started networking and engaging with organizations.
I like working with people who support early cancer detection and promote contact between those affected. It's just great how we bloggers can help others today by sharing our stories, encouraging people, passing on contacts.
Do you remember any special, beautiful or positive moments during your cancer treatment or despite your situation? What were they?
For example, there were conversations with the doctors and medical assistants after I had changed my medical team - they were just very nice, always had a sympathetic ear and still know my name today.
It was also incomparable that the carers from Justin's school got a job with Lebenshilfe. This meant they could be there for him for longer and he had people he trusted around him when I wasn't there.
I have so many wonderful memories with my best friend. He was always there for me to cry on, made me laugh, cooked for me. He took me to the hospital for operations and was there again when I woke up from the anesthesia. I am very grateful to him for that.
It was always special when I went shopping with Justin without a wig on my head, just with a scarf. He would often pull the scarf off my head and show me to people, asking them to confirm that I was beautiful even without hair by saying, "Hey, Mommy, I'm beautiful!"
I also remember precious moments with friends when we sat together in the garden and I naturally didn't wear a scarf or wig. Or the many cuddles from Justin.
Writing, sometimes just feeling the wind on my skin, feeling the sun's rays. Being able to taste again, a few days after chemotherapy. All of these were "courage anchors" for me. Small moments that ultimately meant something really big.
What was it like in the first days after cancer? What has changed?
The first year after diagnosis and after completing the major therapy blocks is a very special one for most patients. For those around you, friends and family, you are healthy again because the cancer is gone. But you are still a patient yourself.
You have had operations, chemotherapy, radiotherapy. You are traumatized. I tried to regain the normality I had before the diagnosis, but it usually didn't work the way I and those around me expected it to. That frustrated me and challenged me. In that first year after the diagnosis, I often fought with myself.
In addition, fear was my constant companion. Every time I felt a twinge, the thought crossed my mind that it could be cancer. Nevertheless, it was difficult to find someone to talk to because my feelings and thoughts were not easy for outsiders to understand.
What helped you on your way back to life?
In 2012, two years after the diagnosis, I met other breast cancer patients. This community of women who had experienced the same thing as me helped me to process what had happened step by step.
They also gave me support when I tested positive for the BRCR2 gene mutation: the certainty that my cancer was genetic and would therefore stay with me for the rest of my life.
No matter how good the support from family members is, no one can really understand how you feel and what goes through your head when you are diagnosed with cancer. No one who has not experienced it themselves.
That is why I think it is important to talk to other patients. It doesn't matter whether it is in self-help groups, forums, on Facebook or blogs. I also recommend this to family members. Because it may be easier to understand what the wife, mother, father or son is feeling and cannot express.
What advice do you have for other sufferers who may find it difficult to find positive moments in their lives?
I generally try to hold back on giving tips. If someone asks specifically for tips, I pass on the results of my personal research. When it comes to treatment, however, I always refer them to a doctor they trust or recommend contacting a specialist or clinic.
Practical tips depend on the person and emerge from individual conversation. However, it is always just a pointing out of possibilities, not a wagging finger. I try to show compassion and encourage.
But I want to make it clear to my readers that it is okay to cry and be sad sometimes. Then you should dry your tears and do what you feel capable of. On my blog I try to show that you can have beautiful and valuable moments despite having cancer. Visit her blog here.
0 comments:
Post a Comment